BMP: Chapter 16

Chapter 16

“Goodbye, Prince.”

POV: James Bret Nikolai Ravn Østergaard

I walked Candice to her room with the most awkward steps. No one spoke when we left the Royal Library. Sometimes, I would glance at her, and notice her fidget.

By the time we reached her door, I was obliged to speak.

“Well,” I muffled, “Good… night. See you tomorrow!”

She smiled before entering in.

And that was it.

***

The next days seemed like agony for me. I got a scolding from the Queen regarding Olivia’s behavior the night of the Ball. I cannot look directly into Olivia’s eyes. And worse, I can’t even be with Candice. I tried, desperately.

I know I asked Candice to wait, until I decide when to end things with Olivia. But every time I am with her, all the memories of us in Scotland would flash in. I couldn’t mutter anything, and likewise hurt her. But as the days passed by, it has gotten worse and worse.

I remember last Tuesday. I was on my way to my room, when I saw Candice coming out from the Royal Library. She tried to turn the other way, but stopped. I was sure if she could, she would run away. I smiled when I saw her, only because my heart dictates so. I was happy to see her around the Palace, even randomly, even just for a few seconds, even if she wouldn’t exchange my smile.

I took a few steps towards her, but someone called her from the opposite direction. It was Prince Adam, grabbing her arm. She was gone then. Ever since the Ball, I noticed Prince Adam spending more time with Candice. He must have treated his proposal real. And somehow, my heart sank. I followed their direction. Prince Adam took her to Thorssen Garden, and he seems to be excited to show her something. And I watched this all from the second floor of Lautsen. I wanted to turn away, to simply ignore it, but my feet remained positioned to the ground.

They say, What you don’t know won’t hurt.

At some point, Prince Adam hugged Candice, and she returned it.

Every now and then, I’d catch Prince Adam with Candice from different locations. The other night I saw them with Prince Luke, taking the path to Kassandra Grounds. And every night at dinner, I would see Prince Adam’s smile, as he sat next to her, taking pieces of his meat, and placing it to Candice’s plate.

The sight disgusted me, even if Prince Adam is my brother. I cannot believe I am jealous of my brother, and moreover, jealous of my nine year old little brother. But I envy him, because he’s not in my position, torn between two.

Candice would sometimes glance at me, and she would see my horrid look. She would turn away right then.

And yesterday, I saw them together crossing Kassandra Bridge, and they saw me too, only I was with Olivia.

***

Finally, the day came of the forty days. It was late August. All of us gathered inside St. Agatha’s Church before taking the ride to Thelordain Cathedral. The Queen and the Prince Consort took the first car, following the casket of my Father, who was held by ten military of Wolland. Next to the Queen’s car followed ours. I sat in the middle of the backseat, between Olivia and Candice, probably the most awkward position ever. Candice was focused on her window, while Olivia held on to me. After us, followed the Crown Princess, with Prince Adam and Princess Veronika. My Mother will be appointed Princess Dowager soon, while I, the Crown Prince of Wolland. The last car included Prince Hendrick, Princess Danielle, and Prince Luke.

The march was led by a marching band, followed by the casket, us, and the other officials’ car. Surrounded us are Royal guards, some on foot, some on motorcycles, and few in horses.

The road to Thelordain Cathedral was filled with people, and more so when we reached the Cathedral. All of Wolland came to mourn the loss of my Father, the Crown Prince Petersen John Nikolai Ravn Østergaard.

When we stepped out of the car, there were cheers from our citizens. The Cathedral cannot hold everyone, so most of the people just stayed outside, where speakers and a monitor were provided. The road was blocked.

We reached the inside of the Cathedral, which is humongous. The altar was magnificent, with touches of gold. The ceilings were high with chandeliers, with paintings depicting times of Jesus. The mass was led by the Archdiocese and I noted the attendance of several Bishops.

By the time the mass ended, the Royal Family was allowed to say their final words. The Queen went first, and when it was my turn, I walked up to the altar, where my Father’s casket was stationed, and looked down at his face. His body was preserved until this point, so he basically still looked decent, like he was only sleeping.

Father,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry because there was a time in my life that I defied our family. I was ashamed of my heritage. I am sorry.

You see, Father, I was too young then, and too naïve. But I realize now, that fear is only fictitious. That what makes the Palace as it is, is how I command it. I have that chance, because I am the Prince. I am given the chance to see it as I please. And that is what I ran away from.

But thank you, Father. Thank you for allowing me to realize this. Thank you giving me this chance to correct my mistakes. Thank you for setting me free when I wanted to. Thank you for giving me the time I needed. Thank you because somehow you knew, I would come back.

I promise, Father. This time, I will be you. I will honor you. I will proclaim your wishes. I will make sure your visions will be physical, and your words be actions. I will stand in front of you, only to know that you are behind me, always.

Give me your guidance Father, and I will make you proud. I will make Wolland proud. And above all else, I will make myself proud.

I love you, and forever rest now.

Goodbye, Prince.

So that was it. Now that the late Crown Prince has been buried, I am now taking his title, with honor.

The day after, Princess Veronika left the Palace, together as Prince Hendrick’s family.

“I am allowed to waste time, Prince. It’s past noon.”

POV: Candice Regerett

Since its past forty days, finally we are able to wear clothes in any color. I made sure I wear one of the dresses Henri bought for me.

I went my way to the Grand Library for today’s lesson with Don. Olivia and I have been taking the same lessons for the past weeks, and today we are learning Wolland’s Royalty.

Being at the same room with Olivia has been really awkward. I remember when we first met, and since then after a few days, we seem to be in good terms. Whenever she wanted to know something, she would ask me about it. We’d study together. But lately, I’ve been noticing her glares. And I truly understand. She must have noticed. I mean, who wouldn’t? At dinners, I can feel the Prince's glances. And whenever I’d catch it, he would look at me as if his eyes were speaking to me.

Seated with Olivia for the past hour, I couldn’t concentrate. I keep thinking of my fault. I feel guilty. I feel guilty that Prince James fell in love with me, and worse, that I want to let him. I don’t know if I love him too, but what I do know is that I want to be with him. I want him to love me, and I feel so happy when he confessed it, though I’ve been feeling miserable as well. I have let my admiration for him, mislead me to affection. I had no intention for this, yet it  happened, and there’s no turning back. As much as I want it too, I want things to be peaceful. I pity Prince James, for instead of helping him, I must have added myself to his list of worries.

No matter how much I want to be with him, Olivia will always be there. And that’s something I can’t change. And the Prince knows it too. I fear that because of me, he will try and end things with Olivia. And I don’t want that as well. She loves him, and he loves her too. I can’t quite take off the memory of their kiss the previous week, during Prince Adam’s ball. It was intense. It was a reminder of both my affection and agony. I seem to be on my way to the grave. My heart can’t stop aching, and my mind can’t stop thinking about it.

This guilt I’ve been feeling has been conquering me for the past week, I couldn’t think straight.

I looked back at my last decent conversation with Olivia, weeks ago.

It was one late afternoon. I saw Olivia talking to my Father.

“You are a great liar,” said my Father.

By then she replied, “What do you mean, Your Excellency?”

“If you really want to be with the Prince, you could have asked him to leave. In fact, you shouldn’t have agreed to stay. And by that question, my dear, why did you stay?”

“Because I love him, and he wanted to stay,” she said.

“The Queen has told me about you. You are weak. You depend on the Prince for a living. Is that why you stick around him? Is that why you stay?”

She didn’t reply. And I stopped myself from gasping, as desperately as I hide behind the parapet.

“You want this as much as he is. You want to be here. You want to be the Princess?” said my Father

“I’ve underestimated you. This is what you wanted all along. You want the Prince just as much as I do, and you use your weakness to grant him pity towards you,” he paused, “Smart. Smart girl. Hiding your strength underneath your fears to show pity. Smart, indeed.”

Olivia remained quiet.

“I have a proposition for you. If you’re interested, come to me. And I might help you. You cannot survive the Palace alone, my dear. And you cannot survive it for a long time, if you continue showing people you’re weak. Your strategy is temporary.”

When Father left, I approached her then, and she was so shocked upon knowing I was eavesdropping on their conversation.

“Don’t,” I said, “Don’t listen to him.”

“I have no intention to,” she replied.

“Good,” I said, “And you shouldn’t hide your strength, Olivia. He needs you. You have to show him that.”

She didn’t reply, but kept looking at my eyes, as if at that moment my eyes revealed all the recent weeks I’ve spent with the Prince.

I remember that same day, that night. Prince James and I sat on a bench in Lautsen Garden.

He said, “I really admire your strength, Candice. Sometimes, I wish Olivia can be like you.”

All I thought at that instant was the conversation I witnessed, and my Father’s words saying Olivia hides her strength underneath her fears to show pity.

So then that’s why I said to the Prince, “Olivia has strength, Prince, only it is hidden. Her dependence of you shields that strength.”

Suddenly Prince James came in, and my heart merely had an attack. He walked in from the doors of the Grand Library, wearing something casual. We all stood up, of course. But Olivia rushed to him, and tied her arms around him. Over her shoulder, the Prince looked at me. I turned away.

Why is the Prince here?

Is he doing this on purpose?

To distract me?

“Lady Regerett?” Don awakened my attention.

“Huh?” I squeezed my head for anything, but I was so unfocused I don’t remember a word he said.

“My question, my Lady… Who was King Alexanderth’s heir to the throne?”

Everyone stared at me, including Prince James who looked as bewildered as I was.

“Uh, it’s Queen Analissa, his distant sister,” I answered.

He went on talking about her then.

“Yes, Queen Analissa was his heir. King Alexanderth never remarried after Princess Kassandra…” his voice trailed off in my head, as it wandered on its own, again.

***

I left the Grand Library almost running to get away.

I knew Olivia must be on her way back to Lautsen, and that automatically includes Prince James, so I went the other way. I took the path to Kofoed.

But I was surprised when Prince James called me from afar.

“Candice, wait!”

I turned around, only to see him running after me.

I looked behind him, expecting to see Olivia, but he must a found a way or a reason to leave her.

“Hey!” he said, “Where are you going?”

We are walking side by side to the corridor of Kofoed Assembly.

“To my room, Prince,” I replied.

“Your room? But why take this path? You’re wasting time, going around like this.”

“I am allowed to waste time, Prince. It’s past noon,” I reasoned.

“Well then,” he said. By now we are pursuing the bridge that connects Kofoed to Lautsen. “Want to waste time with me?”

He stopped tracks, but I didn’t, so he caught up.

“Have you been reading Twilight?” he asked.

“I’m halfway in Breaking Dawn,” I said casually.

“But have you watched the movie?” he asked, sounding like an offer.

“I prefer books,” I said coldly.

“Mind making an exception?” he blocked my way. From the corridor of Lautsen, I can see my room just a couple of steps farther.

I looked up at him, his blue eyes, once again, soaking me to the blueness of the ocean.

“Good,” he took my stare positively, “Let’s go! Let’s watch it in you room!”

He grabbed my hand then and pulled me away.

***

We sat at my living room, sharing the loveseat.

Now why did they have to call it the loveseat?

A flat screen was fixed on the wall, and I breathed in as the view directed us to Forks, Washington, where Isabella Swan is about to discover a life she didn’t expect.

The movie was fast-moving, unlike the book. They’ve cut a few scenes, but that’s all I observed. Maybe because I can feel my eyes shutting, giving up on me as Debussy’s Clair de Lune started playing.

 ***

I woke up on my bed. I sat up, inhaling aggressively as I realize I fell asleep while watching Twilight with Prince James.

I heard a soft giggle from my back, so I turned around. And there he was, Prince James, seated on a distant couch, his right leg crossed his left.

“I didn’t expect that,” he said, giggling in between.

I hurriedly fixed my hair, and the sight made him laugh more.

“Don’t worry, I’ve watched you sleep, enough to see you with your mouth open,” he said, and then burst out laughing.

I was so embarrassed I want to hide under my blanket, but his loud laugh, and his smile, made me smile as well.