BMP: Chapter 15

Chapter 15

“Everything is in order, Father.”

POV: Candice Regerett

“You look ravishing, my Lady!” Alicia commented.

Looking at my own reflection on the full view mirror in my room, I couldn’t quit disagree. The Royal designer made my vision into a reality. The dress arrived Thursday afternoon, which was yesterday, and I couldn’t mask my excitement upon seeing the black dress she custom made, deep v cut, long-sleeved, flowy, and the back was exactly how I sketched it. I remember exactly the image I had in mind when I showed it to her. I wanted jewelries, specifically black spinel in different layers, covering my entire back. My hair was in an updo, a classic bun that someone did for me a while ago. It held my hair up to give emphasis to my back.

Before anything else, Savannah entered the room.

“My Lady, His Excellency, the Prime Minister, seeks your company,” she announced.

Alicia and I caught eyes.

“Let him in,” I said.

Alicia let go of the bottom of my dress, and it touched the ground, leaving just a little tail from the back. “My Lady…” she bid farewell, closing the door as my Father stepped in.

“Goodness, my dear darling! You do look quite fabulous!” he said, approaching me with an open arm, that I thought he would embrace me. He rested his hands on my shoulders instead.

“So,” he asked, “May you enlighten me with your progress?”

My heart started to pace, as I rewind the past month in my head.

My goal is to help the Prince, and so far I’ve been doing just that. But my goal doesn’t correspond to my Father’s. If he’s seeking progress to his goal, I have nothing.

Could I tell him the truth? I tried to envision it, but the only result I got was anger from my Dad, some hurtful words, then he’ll probably kick me out of the Palace. And I don’t want that, at least not yet. I have two more months before I figure out where to go.

In the end, I said only, “Everything is in order, Father.”

“I would want to believe so,” he said, walking around my room as if inspecting. “But I have a feeling you’re lying to me.”

“I may be young. But I will grow eventually, I will marry her then.”

POV: James Bret Nikolai Ravn Østergaard

The Royal Banquet Hall at Kofoed Assembly looked very typical for a Royal Ball. High ceilings, lined up of windows from both sides. There is a platform where a line of chairs are prepared for the Royal Family, red carpet that covers the dance floors, Royal guards stationed at every corner, exquisite dishes, and live music.

I believe everyone has arrived except for Candice, or perhaps only because I’ve been looking for her. She’s nowhere to be found. I strolled around, checking every girl I see who has her dark hair and resembles her figure, to my despair.

“James?” A voice called, but it wasn’t Candice. It was Olivia, looking so radiant in her red gown.

Olivia and I has tried and succeeded to settle things. Olivia wasn’t as mad as I thought. She apologized and I did also. And she told me that if all I needed is for her try, then she will. She seemed pretty positive. I realized our fight turned out to be a good thing, for ever since then, she has never mentioned leaving the Palace again.

“Who are you looking for?” she asked.

“Uh,” I muffled, “No one. Just the Prince Adam.”

“Oh,” she said, “I believe I saw him with Prince Luke a while ago.”

“Ah!”

“Hey,” she called, looking over my shoulder, “Isn’t that the Prime Minister?”

I turned around, and it’s true. It was the Prime Minister, and behind him is Henri, making their way to the platform, perhaps to greet the Queen. I wonder if Candice is on her way as well.

Just then she came out of the doors, in a black dress, looking so stunning that everything around me seemed to have disappeared. I even heard Olivia call my name, but I don’t understand why I didn’t bother to respond. Right now, all that matter is Candice. But before I was able to take a step, I saw Prince Adam, striding across the floor, on his way to her. That broke my gaze, and finally, I noticed Olivia.

“Hey,” she looped her arm to mine, “There’s Prince Adam!”

***

Olivia excused herself for the powder room, and I was left alone, once again, looking for Candice.

By the time I found her, she was a having a drink with Henri. My heart sank, and I stepped back.

“Hey!” Prince Adam called. When I followed the sound, he was standing beside me, his gaze focused on Candice.

“Hey,” I said back.

“She’s so beautiful, isn’t she?” he said, not breaking the glance. It sounded more of a statement than a question.

“Can I ask you of something, brother?” he turned to me, his tone changed.

“Of course.”

“You are going to marry Olivia, right?”

His question threw me out of the Hall. And I struggled to respond.

Am I going to marry Olivia?

By that, I saw Olivia, looking around the crowd, perhaps searching for me.

I turned to Prince Adam and nodded hesitantly.

“Then why did the Queen told me you’re marrying Candy instead?” he asked, looking back to Candice on the far distance.

If his first question threw me out of the Hall, this one threw me out of the Palace. Of course, even if Candice and I have been walking the friends’ path for a while, the Queen doesn’t know that. In fact, her challenge stands. At the end of three months, I will choose to marry Olivia or Candice.

At the time, I was sure to pick Olivia, but now I’m having second thoughts.

Am I going to marry Candice?

If Prince Adam had brought it up weeks ago, I would have laughed about it. But now that I look into it, marrying Candice instead isn’t really that bad, only that by doing so, I’d be breaking my promise to Olivia. If Olivia and Candice can fit in one body, that’d be the solution to my problem.

And now here I am, asked about it, not knowing how to respond.

“I told Grandma I like Candice, and that I will marry her. She told me I can’t,” he added.

That was a punch in my face. “Marry her? Why will you want to marry her?” I asked.

“Because I like her,” he said firmly.

“You admire her,” I corrected.

He turned to me then, and I felt like looking at Prince Adam at the age of maturity.

“No,” he said, “I am marrying Candice when I grow older, and I will marry her because I love her.”

“You don’t love her, Adam.” It sounded more like convincing myself than convincing him.

“I do. I may be young. But I will grow eventually, I will marry her then.”

He gave me one last look before Olivia came up to us, and Prince Adam left.

“Dance with me?” Olivia asked, as she pulled me to the dance floor.

Dancing with Olivia was more like a disguise to my thoughts. Thinking back at Prince Adam’s last words, I can’t help but feel the hollow in my chest.

Of course, if your little brother tells you he likes somebody and he plans to marry her, one should be proud and supportive. But I cannot bring myself to do just that. I don’t want Adam to marry Candice. I don’t want anyone to marry Candice. Period. He may be misunderstanding his feelings for now, but the thought of having Candice to marry somebody else made me uneasy.

“I do. I may be young. But I will grow eventually, I will marry her then.”

One thing I realized, Prince Adam’s last words sounded more of a warning, than a declaration.

“I will not lose, Nikolai!”

POV: Margarett Katherine Ravn-Østergaard

“How’s your little game doing?” the Prince Consort whispered, directing his gaze to the crowd. We are seated on the platform, and on my right is my husband, Prince Nikolai.

On the dance floor, I saw James dancing with Olivia.

“What happens when you lose?” he asked.

“I will not lose, Nikolai!”

By that I stood up, rushed to Candice, who was at one corner. It was easy to find her, for she wears one of the few black dresses for the night.

I pulled her with me to the dance floor and approached James and Olivia.

“My dear Olivia… If you please give me company for a minute, I’d like to introduce you to some people,” she glanced at James then, but agreed to come with me anyway. How can she turn down the Queen?

“Mind keeping my Prince company while I steal her muse?” I turned to Candice, who never had the chance to reply.

“One dance won’t hurt.”

POV: Candice Regerett

“I’m sure the Queen won’t know,” I said to the Prince, “We don’t have to.”

I turned around, about to walk away, when he grabbed my arm, and pulled me closer.

“One dance won’t hurt,” he whispered to my ear, sending shivers throughout my body. He held my right hand, his chin resting on my shoulder, as mine to his, and his other hand found a spot in between the jewelries on my back.

For a minute I was frozen. I am dancing with Prince James.

He wore a suit, black, but with highlights of red and gold. It looked military, with the pins and the sash. His blonde locks are swept back.

The intimacy is killing me. I was so close to him I can hear his breath, I can feel his hand on my back, and I can smell him. Oh and he smelled so good, I swear I felt like collapsing.

“You’re late,” he whispered again. And his husky voice in my ear didn’t help stop my heart from beating really fast, only worsened.

I tried to say something but nothing came out.

“I notice you come in after the Prime Minister. Did he talk to you?”

I broke the embrace then, and looked up to his blue eyes. Like seeing the ocean, it felt so magical right then. Looking into his eyes made me feel the breeze of the wind on my hair. I hear the sound of the ocean waves crashing the boulders on the shore. I see the ocean. I see freedom. I see happiness. I see myself wanting to be with him.

“Did he say anything?" He asked, burning me with his own stare.

“We…” I struggled, “Just… talked.”

“What did you talk about?” he asked, “What did he say?”

I leaned over his shoulder, as if doing so is normal. I looped my left hand on his back, and I felt him tense. I didn’t care. I didn’t let go.

I think I had too much to drink.

“Did he hurt you?” he whispered to my ear again.

I shook my head.

And for a while, everything was quiet, if only not my heart, beating so fast I have enough beats to sustain an eternal life.

“There’s nowhere to escape a Prince from his own Palace.”

POV: Candice Regerett

We were approached by Jackson and was told to prepare. This is it. I am going to play the piano with Prince James on his violin, as a gift to Prince Adam.

I stepped on the stage as my name was called, and Prince James did so. He took the microphone, as the crowd of politicians and Royalties roared.

“Prince Adam,” he said, “Happy 9^th Birthday, from Candice and I.”

He looked at me then, cueing to start.

I did.

Rehearsals had been smooth all along, so I was confident for tonight. I knew the keys. I knew the music.

Incandescence justified its title. It was a solemn song, but it diverts to something bold towards the middle part, and it ends abruptly, leaving the listeners something to ponder on.

It was like light giving way to darkness, but leaving a question in the end. It was awakening. It was revealing. From loneliness to rage to something questionable, melting away like traces of flame.

I remember the first time we had our first real rehearsal, without him pausing to correct my fingers. I thought the ending hasn't been finalized yet. But playing it over and over, I understood. It was written exactly as it was, as if there's a continuation. As if there's an answer.

I have to play solo as an intro, before he enters with his violin. The sound of piano and violin together fitted perfectly that I have to question myself when I said one can never have both. Because in this beautiful tune, the violin and the piano existed, James and I existed.

When it ended, the crowd went wild with their applause. And I was approached to the stage by Prince Adam.

“That was beautiful, Candice!” he said, tightening his embrace.

When he let go, I searched for Prince James. I’ve searched for a reason why, but the only one I got was because I want to.

And then I saw him, with Olivia, just below the stage, his lips locked into hers, like it was their performance all along. Not mine. Never was mine.

The next thing I knew, I was running out fROM the Royal Banquet Hall. I thought of going to the library, but the idea brought me back to my first encounter with the Prince. I thought of the garden, but just the same brought me memories of the Prince. I thought of so many, but all brought me back to the same person. That’s when I realized, there’s nowhere to escape a Prince from his own Palace.

“What happens now?”

POV: James Bret Nikolai Ravn Østergaard

I didn’t know when it happened, Olivia just reached up to me and pressed her lips to mine. I was so shocked that I pushed her away. I remember her horrid look when I did, but I remember the Queen’s look having the worst.

“James…” she whispered, but I was already stepping back.

I don’t know why. I know I’ve hurt her for resisting, for not announcing right then and there in front of everyone that we’re engaged. I was only worried of one thing. I was worried of Candice. I searched desperately for her, in every corner of the Royal Banquet Hall, but she’s nowhere to be found. She must have left. I panicked. I didn’t know if she saw the kiss, if I’ve hurt her somehow, or if she cares anyway. But I felt this urge inside me to explain myself to her. I feel indebted to her.

I first went to Lautsen Garden, only to find a few guards roaming the grounds, so next I checked Kassandra Hall. I didn't know why, but my body somewhat took me there. I found no one. And then finally I went to the Royal Library.

I stepped in at the dark room.

“Candice?” I called.

No one answered, but I saw a shadow, standing at one corner by the window. The moonlight made the jewelries at the back of her dress twinkle, like stars in the night sky.

“Candice?” I called again, walking straight to her.

She didn’t respond. Her arms were crossed, but she was looking down at the window where the view of the Hesselborg Grounds can be seen.

“What’s wrong?”

She glanced at me then, her eyes shouting desolation. But there were no tears.

I sighed, accepting the fact that she may not want me here right now.

I talked anyway, “You know,” I paused, “Prince Adam approached me today…He…” I stuttered, “He… said the craziest thing.”

She didn’t reply.

“He said he wants to marry you,” I finally said, laughing afterwards.

She smiled, and she took her left hand and raised it high. A red string was wrapped around her ring finger.

“He proposed. That would make sense,” she said, seeming pleased.

She walked away from the window side, and walked towards one of the shelves. The library was too dim, but I can still trace her shadow. Besides, her shoes clogging on the floor, didn’t help.

Her reaction to my comment didn’t seem to surprise her, as if she knew it. It was as if she expected it. It was as if she was okay with it. It was as if she was happy to hear it.

But I don’t know what’s been building up inside me, for I can’t find myself on the same page. I don’t feel happy about it, and her expression made it worse.

And the thought that my brother already proposed, I feel like ripping my heart into pieces. I knew he’s only a kid, and on other people’s eyes, they may see it adorable. But I can’t seem to see it like that. My brother or not, nine or twenty year old, I am not comfortable with it.

“He’s not kidding you know,” I said, following her under the shadows of the dark, “He likes you. He will marry you.”

I struggled to see her, so when she spoke, it led me exactly to where she was standing, “That’s cute. So cute,” she said, sounding flattered.

“No! You don’t get it. I mean, he likes you,” I convinced, “He may be young, but he knows it.”

“Hmm…” she said, “Thinking about it… Prince Adam seems to be a good kid. He will grow up to be a good man.”

I was shocked to hear that. “You mean, you’re interested?”

“Why not? He was always so sweet.”

“He’s my brother, Candice! And he’s nine! That string he gave you, he meant it!”

That was just it. The idea of Candice marrying my brother infuriated me. And it made me realize that what I have been avoiding to happen might just happen anyway. My Grandmother, not pursuing love. My Father, losing his beloved to his younger brother. I am losing this game with the Queen. I am losing love, by losing Candice.

Because the love that I wanted to prove exist in the Palace, is Candice along, not Olivia. But what about her? What about my love for her? I love Olivia, and I still do. I don’t want to hurt her. Maybe what Candice said was right. Loving two persons at the same time is possible, but not the same weight. Maybe Candice weighed more.

Having such thought gave me the horrors that whenever I end up getting to it, I would always shake off the idea.

“He’ll grow up eventually, Prince. And I think the ring was romantic,” she said,

“You can’t marry him!” I blurted.

She was silent for a moment. She turned around. Even in the darkness she shines like a diamond.

Love will light the way, I suddenly remembered.

“Why not, Prince? Are you saying that because you’re only protecting your brother or because you don’t like me at all?” she challenged, crossing me.

“That’s the point!” I yelled, following her, “I like you for myself...” my voice trailed off, realizing what I had just said. She turned to me, with wide eyes.

“I like you… Candice…” I emphasized, my voice sounding weak, “In fact, I love you.”

“I can’t help it anymore! I can’t hide it anymore!” I said more, walking past Candice, my voice sounding too weak it felt sore, “The possibility of you married with someone else… kills me. If you marry, I might… die.”

“You can’t be serious,” she said.

I turned around to face her, and felt a tear run down my cheeks. “It’s… true. All our walks in the garden, our trip to Verseed,” I enumerated our entire month, expanding to the simplest things, “The way you speak. The way you walk. The way you smile, and laugh. All of it is true.”

I cannot believe I finally said it out loud, all because I fear that while I figure out what’s happening, somebody else might be getting closer to her heart. And I can’t believe it was all because of my brother. Somehow, I felt like I was stealing her away from Prince Adam. Somehow I felt guilty. Somehow I pitied my brother. But right now, I feel free. I feel revived.

“What about Olivia? Do you still love her?” she asked.

I couldn’t answer right away, not because I don’t know the answer, but because I can’t give her the answer she might want.

I nodded instead.

For a while we were just silent, staring down at Hesselborg Grounds where from a distance the moonlight shimmers down the lake, where I saw Prince Adam and Candice together some time ago.

“What happens now?” she asked.

“Don’t go.” It was the only thing I said. “Just wait. Just… let me love you, please.”

I sounded defeated.

She always asks the right questions.

What happens now? She asked.

I don’t know.

I love Candice, and I want to be with her, but I can’t leave Olivia, not just yet.

“Until when should I wait?”

I looked down at my hands, shivering.

Being with her right now, I wanted to hug her. I want to hug her so tight and never let go.

 “I… don’t know. Just… until I figure it out,” I mumbled.

“What about you?” I asked, reviving the room.

“What about me?”

“What about you? Do you feel the same way?” I looked directly at her eyes, but she wasn’t giving me any clues.

“I’d rather not tell, Prince,” she said, walking away.

I grabbed her by the arm, and pulled her for an embrace.

Sometimes, you just know. Sometimes, you just feel it. It’s like telepathy. There’s this connection between you two. And sometimes, you just know, that the mere use of words is only for validation.

“You love me,” I whispered in her ear, “But why won’t you tell?”

She hugged me back, and I can feel her warmth. I can feel her heartbeat. I can feel relief, evaporating from my body. I can feel myself wanting more.

But she didn’t say anything, not even a nod. But her embrace was more than enough to put a smile in my face.